What Next...?

So this afternoon, I was talking with a friend regarding the course of my life. I'm 28 years old and while I have no complaints about my life thus far, I've seem to hit a bump in the road in which I'm wondering what is the next step for me. I'm about to finish graduate school, I have a great job and great friends, however, I seem to have made a complicated turn on the road of life and am now wondering....what next?

Ten years ago, I knew exactly what I was going to be doing by the time I turned 30. I was going to be working as an advisor in Washington DC, for the President of the US who would be pledging to make America a place like no other (Not Bush though) My job would be something similar to Josh Lyman on the West Wing...actually exactly like that character. While yes, it is a fictional character...his job is what I always envisioned Totally in control and working for a really great president, someone like Martin Sheen of course. But that's not the case at all.

There are many reasons for this....1) I don't live in Washington DC. When I was living there I could never catch a break. It seemed that everywhere I went I was competing against folks who were or had attended schools that were far superior than the school I had recently graduated from. 2) The job that I had while living there didn't allow for much upward professional movement. While I tried my best to be very proactive, it was always discouraging knowing that my efforts were sort of...well, not working. Finally, 3) I'm not, what you would call, a good kiss ass. Now, this might probably be the easiset thing to do, but for me, it was probably the worst part of living in the DC metro area....if you didn't know someone in the field of interest you were looking into and unwilling to pursue any form of kiss assing, well....you might as well get out of dodge. And yes, after about a year, I did just that.
I realized that my hopes and dreams which were supposed to happen in the great city of Washington, DC, would not. I would have to flee to the southwestern part of the country, in hopes to regain any desires I might have lost during my time in the political city out east.

So i move to Los Angeles. The city of grassroots organzing and active social justice. I've been here two years and I have yet to attend my first march....I have yet to become involved in anything at all political and now i'm wondering....what have I been doing these last two years. Should I have just stayed in DC and become the the kiss ass i know I could be?

Ok...kiss ass might be slightly offensive to my friends back east, but for me....i find using the word somewhat liberating. The city is filled with just that. No longer is it the city of change and progressive politics but instead a version of my own worst nightmare. the "magical" city, which is what I once and still continue to call has seemed to have lost it's magic in my own eyes. DC is now filled with politicians that are no longer speaking their mind and doing what is right. Instead they are saying what they need to say in order to stay in office. It's no longer an office that you want to hold with pride and hope to acheive as much for the country as possible, instead it is a job in which you take and hope to maintain, saying just enough and doing just enough to make the voters happy and keep you on for another few years.

It's my first posting, so bear with me. I'm kinda all over the place but only because their is a ton of things going through my head right now and I'm not sure how to formalize and structure it all. All I know is that I need to just sign off right now and hopfully bring back something more constructive tomorrow. I'm just going to sign out.